12.7.09

I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

I hate accounting. I hate hate hate hate accounting and if all the accounting firms were suddenly wiped out, I wouldn't be disappointed. In fact, I'd be out there dancing in the street and praising whoever brought them all down.

I can't get a job in IS. I don't understand enough database systems. My GPA isn't high enough. Blah blah blah. I don't want a 9-5 job that's really a 9-whenever job, where I'm stuck in business clothes and shoes that hurt all day without anyone with a sense of honor or sanity surrounding me. If I have to have one more conversation about boyfriends or being a poor little rich girl I'm going to smack someone.

I can't get into start-ups because I'm too afraid to. I think they're looking for people to be part of their clicques. I'm not a clicque sort of girl. Just accept me and give me something to do- guarantee you whatever you throw at me (as long as it's not a self-assessment) will work out to the best advantage of the company.

I'm drowning myself in Xbox playing and RPing X-men and other things that have nothing to do with my career and school and the fact that I have to move on with my life in 6 months and become someone I hate. I don't want to be a fake ass adult talking behind people's backs and pretending to be polite to people who are just being stupid. Sorry, honesty is the best policy in my book. I'm not going to lie to you to make you feel better.

My friends are falling apart. They don't know what they're doing with their lives either. Everyone's freaking out. No one's hanging out together. Everyone can be really selfish sometimes too. What happened to being each other's support systems? Society's going to hell with this obsession with the individuals and lack of committed relationships and senses of community and family. We used to value these things once. Clearly I grew up in the wrong era.

Maybe I will just write a novel, if it means getting rid of restraints. It's going to be a pain in the ass if everyone critiques me like my writing professor does. Unbelievable? Really? Are my characters unbelieveable?

Please, tell me. I'd appreciate the feedback.